Truthfully motherhood is hard. There are exhausting days, emotionally draining moments, teachable moments, exciting times, hard times, and lots of messy chaotic hectic in between. But praise the Lord for mothers. I am the adult today because of my mother.
Reality of Motherhood
I’d be lost without my mom. And I can just say that I am forever thankful that I get to experience motherhood. If you are a mom, then understand that your children are your mission. It’s a very full season with lots on the agenda and very long days. Sometimes the shower doesn’t happen until 10pm and that’s okay. But remember, even during those super long days, when you just can’t find any peace in the chaos, potty training wears everyone out, the nursing baby won’t leave your boob, and the pile of dishes seems unending. your job is NOT to just raise good kids. Your job is to raise kids who are going to be good adults.
But let’s be real for a moment. It’s sometimes really hard to keep doing the same thing over and over. To repeat the same rule 1,000 times in an hour, and to basically sound like a tape recorder. Honestly, your kids know what buttons to push and which one of those buttons really sets you off. And if we let these triggers set us off, we either snap or really lose our temper with our children.
What Steals Your JOY?
Galatians 6:9-10 reminds us to do good to everyone. Perhaps you have too much on your agenda that’s making you impatient faster and short tempered. You might be exhausted running from point A to point B. So take a look at your schedule and find out what steals your joy. And identify what triggers you. For me it’s my 3 year old’s whiney voice and my 2 year old’s stubborn, refusing any help temperament. But then again, the Bible reminds me to do good to EVERYONE and this includes my children. I cannot expect my children to be good to others if I am not good to them. Amen?
Words Have POWER
I don’t want you to reach the point in motherhood where you wake up daily and hate what you do. There are so many, many joyful moments in motherhood but perhaps you are too drained and exhausted from truly seeing those moments. It’s so easy to become discouraged day after day living the same mundane. Fight the negative and seeing the downfalls in your children. Instead seek joy and speak life and encouragement over your children. There’s nothing more hurtful than to place a label on your child. For instance you might have a wild, energetic child, but introducing this child as, “here’s my crazy kid” immediately places a negative label on and it’s not choosing to speak life.
Mama, I get it. I know it’s so hard. I live off of 4 hours of a sleep a night, my husband is always away due to his job, and I have a 3 year old, 2 year old, and a 6 week old. I understand no space/time to yourself. I get it all. But these are not excuses to be rude, short tempered, and impatient with your children. Words have life and power.
YOU ARE ENOUGH
Also, when you feel inadequate and not enough, that’s the devil trying to trick you that you aren’t enough. Because truth is, you most definitely are. You are ministering and molding your children. First Peter 5 tells us that the great enemy is the devil and he’s like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. The enemy gets me by trying to deceive me that I did not do enough. I have three children, I’m pretty sure I do enough in a day. Be aware of how he’s trying to trick you and get you to believe something that’s you’re not. Your mind is a great stronghold and it can play many tricks on you.
What’s Your Love Language?
Did you know that in order to give you have to have a full cup? So if by the end of the day you have nothing left to give your spouse, that’s probably because you’re empty. Totally normal during this full season of motherhood. For example, one of my 5 love languages is quality time. If I don’t get enough quality time on my own, I feel irritated and frustrated. But if I also don’t get enough one on one time with my husband, I feel drained and empty. In addition, find out if you’re an extrovert or introvert.
Do you feel easily drained when all your children climb all over you? Do you get energy from mom groups and social gatherings? Or are you exhausted and need to hide for a bit? I am for sure an extrovert. I get recharged after meets up and play dates. Learning this about yourself will help you give more to your family. Truth is, you need self-care for yourself, but you first need to discover what self-care you need.
Did you know that you cannot express gratefulness and experience stress at the same time? It’s impossible to mix the two together. The next time you feel those buttons pushed and the triggers shot within you, remember what characteristics you’re thankful for in your children. Write out a list and quote it back to yourself when you feel the temper rise within you. I promise it’s a game changer when you look at your little one and remember what makes you thankful about him/her.
Pray, Pray, Pray
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
Okay, you’re probably asking yourself, “how the heck can I pray all day long?”
Little prayers, mama. It’s the moments of, “Jesus help!” Or the time your 2 year old has to put her own shoes on, and your three year old has to pour his own juice and you’re running late for church: “Lord help me be calm.” That’s what it means to pray continually. And give thanks for every single situation all day long. Maybe you have a difficult child. A stubborn, strong willed spirited child and you don’t know how to handle this defiant spirit. Pray over your child. Pray over his/her room. Your job is to raise good adults.
In 6-7 years from now it won’t matter if you breastfed for 12 months, co-slept or not, cloth or disposable diapers, let them cry it our or not, how soon they walked, and when they first slept through the night. None of that will matter. But it will matter what values your children hold. Are they kind? Loving? Gentle and caring? Don’t get stuck in the perfect mom mode that the rest of society tries to display over social media. Instead strive to be an excellent mom, raising good adults.
I love you and I’m here for you. You are MOM ENOUGH. Ask God how to tackle the day, pray the fruit of the spirit over yourself, and ask him what to focus on today. One task at a time. You were never meant to do it all in one day.