I’m a military wife. My husband serves in the US military and protects and fights for my son’s and my freedom so we can sleep every night, safely and comfortably.
The military lifestyle is like none other else. It’s a life many can’t do and quite honestly, that is okay. Though my upstairs’ neighbor doesn’t know it and the couple siting next to me at church think I have it all together, but honestly, I do the mommy and daddy role every day. This year alone my husband will miss every single birthday in the family, all the holidays, and anniversaries.
I go to bed many nights wondering if he’s okay. I stare at the ceiling fan and imagine what he must be doing right now. I snuggle with my one year old son and tell him that daddy loves him, because he does have a daddy. He does have a hero in his life and I want him to know this. So we live life apart. We are on total opposite time zones. We go months without hearing each other’s voices. But somehow we still manage to keep it together, stay happy, and get to the end of each day.
So How Do WE Make It Work?
- Find time for Jesus: I’m a Jesus girl. I’m all about digging my nose in the Bible, speaking to the Lord, and meditating on scripture. I cannot do life without Him. He is the true source of my joy, my peace, and my hope when all hope feels lost. I don’t know how others do this whole life without Jesus, honestly.
- Plan play dates with other moms: I find this one so important. Planning play dates once or twice a week is so huge as it gets everyone out of the house and also wears the kiddos out so mommy can have alone time later!
- Stay busy: I like to plan something fun once a month when daddy is deployed so that way we have something fun to look forward to. It’s either a fun outing to the zoo, amusement park, the beach, or visiting family.
- Develop a schedule: The way I make this work is by making my son go to bed at a decent time every night. I need mommy time, even more when daddy is gone. I require a few hours alone or just peace and relaxation and actually getting work done.
- Make Friday night fun night: I like to celebrate with the idea that we made it to the end of the week! It’s usually pizza night with a movie and camping out on the sleeper sofa.
These are just a few of my tips that I do to make this military life work, with fun, and manageable. I try and keep a positive mind throughout every day, not only does it help me but it also strengthens the family life. And of course, there are some days when I break out the chocolate and ice cream and have a pity party and I allow the emotions to take its toll at least for one day. But just remember, for as many bad days you have, you must have double the amount of good days.
I’ve learned that complaining and feeling sorry for yourself because of the time without your spouse doesn’t change anything. In fact, it just makes you feel more miserable. The first week of every deployment is rough. There’s no way around that and I WON’T sugarcoat it.
Going to bed at the end of a long exhausting day and then thinking about tomorrow and knowing tomorrow won’t bring your spouse back either. Yup, that’s the reality of deployment and it sucks. There’s no easy way around it. But that is why I turn right back to my checklist and keep those pointers in my mind.
Believe me, it does end!
This may surprise you BUT I’m going through my first deployment right now! You can read about day one of deployment right here. I can’t believe we are still in deployment but definitely more than halfway through now. Before I know it we will be together as a family again. Every hard day that comes I tell myself that there is something exciting to look forward to and I CAN get through this!
Have you ever gone through a deployment? Or are you going through one right now? Leave your thoughts in the comments below how you made it through alive!