“Do you need help?”
Four words most moms hear regularly. And if you’re like most moms (I’m most moms), you simply say, “Oh I’m fine, thanks.”
Of course we need help. Help comes with the territory of raising children. It’s impossible to raise children without help. It can’t be done. Raising children is the biggest task and comes with the most responsibility. And it was never intended on doing it alone.
Sure, my husband is rarely home. In fact, my third child is 15 weeks old and my husband has been around 4 of those weeks. So yes, you can definitely say I parent alone.
Yes, my kids have multiple meltdowns a day and I ignore at least half of the tantrums. Yes, I often fall asleep while nursing my baby and wake up two hours later to a messy kitchen, dried up breastmilk on my shirt, messy hair, and old mascara stuck to my eyes.
But then by the end of each day, I look at all three of my sleeping children and can’t wait for the next day. Because oh how I love it and I love them.
I won’t lie, there are plenty of moments when I think to myself why I have to do all of this on my own or how sad it is that my husband can’t be around for half of the milestones the kids hit. My three month old rolled over for the first time tonight. My husband missed it. He’s out there serving our country. Fighting for freedom.
I raise three small children.
There are some mornings when I wake up and wonder what today will be like. Will there be an uncountable amount of tantrums and meltdowns? Or will it be one of those perfect days where everyone is happy, perfect (no such thing of course), and bad attitudes are nonexistent. But then the day starts and by 8am each child has been disciplined twice and tantrums are out of the wazoo.
Become Unmoved by Tantrums
Sure, it’s really hard to stay content and emotionally stable when the environment is anything from stable. I would really like to hide in the closet and wait for the tears to subside. But then I remember that my emotions are not based on my children’s moods. I am not moved by their emotionally, unstable, quick to fall apart feelings.
Anyone hear me on this and can shout an amen? It’s so easy to get caught up in the mundane of emotions and get upset when our expectations are not met and never will be. But that’s why it’s so important to ask for help. Because when the emotions are out of the roof, it’s way easier to snap than to keep a quiet spirit. Before you feel the urge to snap–ask your friend for help. Ask if she has a babysitter recommendation so you can get your hair done, schedule a manicure, or simply go grocery shopping alone.
Truth is, you’ll never forgive yourself if you snap at your children. Most likely you didn’t even mean to. You’re exhausted and it happened. Of course no excuse. But you also shouldn’t have an excuse for not asking for help either.
You need it.
Your emotions need it
Your sanity needs it.
No excuses anymore.