“Not right now, but maybe later.”
Have you ever said those words or maybe even heard those words? If you’re a mom, I’m sure you’ve heard those words, spoken those words, and know those words all too well.
How many of you are familiar with just waiting for the right time? But how often do you question, “Will the right time ever come?”
It’s hard to always be on the ‘waiting list’ and letting your dreams, passions, and desires slip and slide when life constantly gets in the way. And as moms, I feel like this is our biggest challenge. There’s either never enough time to do what we want to do or we finally get a chance and then life comes right back in and calls us back to motherhood (or sleep, we all need more sleep).
I’m not here to tell you to toss your dreams, your aspirations, and your fire, but instead to encourage you that the season you’re currently in, might be telling you something else.
I have fire. In fact, I have many fires. There is more than one “fire” I get passionate and “ON FIRE” about.
For instance, I love to write. My major is English because one day I would like to take this writing dream of mine and set sail with it. I would love to go to writer’s conferences, book tours, publish etc.
But right now isn’t the time and it’s hard to wait. Certain dreams drive me. I get excited, passionate, and encouraged when I get time to spend in my element. Writing, blogging, reading, exercising, personal growth (aka Jesus time), all motivate and excite me. However, right now some of those fires are flickering. The flame is little (very little to be honest) and it’s hard to watch it flicker. It hasn’t died and I’m not sure how much smaller the flame will get or how big it can get. I just know that right now, my time and energy is on my kids, household, and family.
But it’s so hard. So hard. Somedays I wake up thinking: what would the day look like if I had no responsibilities?What if I didn’t have little people to take care, a household to be in charge of, meals to cook, messes to clean, food to buy, butts to wipe, bills to pay, finances to figure out, budgets to run, errands to run, you name it. How big would my fire be? Would I be a best selling author?
However, right now, in this very season I am in I have realized more than anything else that it’s not my time. I want it to be so bad at times. And I can try to focus on the fire, and put everything else aside but raising small children is only a short season. Someday they won’t need me, want me, or even be with me 24/7. That’s when I can focus all my time, energy, and focus back into my fire.
God Uses Every Season
I’m a very driven person. I enjoy to do lists, accomplishments, success, and recognition. So having to take a step back is not an easy step for me. You know what I discovered when I took a step back and let God show me what to do with this talent? Blogging. I can blog. I can minister to others. But most importantly God showed me that my children are MY ministry. I can speak life into their life. We are raising the next generation ladies, and that’s the most important job.
He’s using this season to press me, pressure me, bring out the most patience in me, and teach me to love my children (and others) more.
Right Now My Children ARE MY Fire
These two little people stir up more emotion in me than anyone else. They cause me to question myself, reevaluate the person I am, and focus on what matters most in life. Sure it would be awesome to have this massive blog bringing in a stable income monthly, but right now is not my time. My time is my kids. You may be in a different season or perhaps you’re able to work both a business (work full-time), run a household, mommy life, and find time for yourself, then shoutout to you! I’ll be honest. I did that for a while and something lacked. My kids lacked, my personal time with Jesus lacked, my sleep lacked, and I just couldn’t do it all. And it’s ok to admit, “I can’t do it right now.”
Last week I took a few more minutes and logged into my blog. Two minutes later I heard my daughter scream at the top of her lungs. Her brother bit her (something he never does). It was time to step back once again and focus on their needs more.
It’s OK to say No
I know those are the hardest words to say. Because we want to prove that we can do it all. It makes us feel good when we’re in charge, ahead, and racing through and making headway. But I’m here to tell you that if you have to slow down, if you have to watch your fire flicker, understand it won’t be a forever season. This season will pass and someday you will look back and miss it so much.
I need you to understand that you are not wasting your life away. Your fire will not burn out. When all the pieces line up for your fire to start burning again, it will burn even brighter, stronger, and fiercer. But maybe right now, you need to take a break. Plug back into your children’s life, your marriage, and your family. We balance a lot, we wear a lot of different hats, and sometimes it’s perfectly ok to only wear one hat at a time.
You need to find out what works best for you. Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life, or how to work your “fire”. Only you know how much you can handle and priorities first in this order:
- God
- Husband
- Children
- Fire
Don’t take this message as if I’m telling you to give up. Instead view this a reminder that you are mom enough, your fire will live on, and sometimes seasons and circumstances need you elsewhere and that’s ok too!
