Do you ever hit your pillow at the end of every day and you ask yourself: “But did I love you enough?”
Because you know how easy it is when it’s 3PM and your toddler refuses to nap and instead throws everything out of his crib and screams for 45 minutes straight until you give up and screw nap time?
Or you know when it’s 8pm, the dirty dishes are stacked high in the sink, the floor is covered with leftover noodles and spaghetti sauce, both kids are screaming their heads off and all you can think of is: thirty more minutes.
So then the clock hits 8:30PM, bedtime. You hurry around and get littles in their pj’s, wipe dirty faces because that’s nasty, say prayers, and phew, you made it another day.
Now it’s 9PM and cleaning up the kitchen mess and doing A-Z of what didn’t get done is sheer impossible because you’re tired, beat up, and just want to chill and do Netflix…and maybe some ice cream because heck, you deserve it.
Now it’s bedtime and you manage to drag yourself to bed but before you shut your eyes for the night, your mind wanders: did I love them enough today?
Love is More than Just an Action
Love is a commitment, even when the undies get filled with poop for the 5th time today because Mr. two year old forgot how to use the potty.
Love is putting your wants aside and being mommy 100% and another 100% on top of that.
Love is saying no to getting the house clean, no to Facebook, no to sleeping in, and no to alone shower time.
Love is saying, “yes, I will love you even when you scream in my face, pee on the floor, refuse to eat the dinner I slaved over, and won’t nap because why of course, naps are overrated, mother.”
Love is More than Just a Word
Love speaks. Love also does. Love reaches out to your hurting child (even through your exhaustion) and says, “I love you.”
My children are little, little. Two years old and nine months. Right now mommy is #1. But fast-forward fifteen years and that might not be the case. So right now, I want to establish an unbreakable love. Because if my son comes to me years down the road and needs a listening ear, I want to be that ear. Or if my daughter needs to rant, cry her eyes out, or find a solid, trusting foundation, I want to be that for her.
Establish Love NOW
So love is an ever growing action. And if at the end of every single day you ask yourself, “But did I love you enough?” Guaranteed you did. Because you asked yourself that question. Asking yourself that question, goes to prove that you want nothing more than to love your children 110%. And you’re concerned that you didn’t love enough.
And so if it’s 11pm and your two year old who normally sleeps on his own wants to cuddle to sleep, do it. Do it for him. He won’t want your cuddles ten years from now. Or if your baby wants to fall asleep on your chest tonight and stay there, do it.
There are no regrets when it comes to loving your children. Because truth is, you can’t love them enough.
The natural state of motherhood is:
Once you become a mother, you are no longer the center of the universe. Your perspective, wants, desires, and needs change.
Motherhood is a choice you make every single day. You put someone else’s happiness ahead of your own. You teach little people to do the right thing, even when you are unsure of the right thing yourself. And you learn to forgive yourself over and over for doing the wrong thing.
Love more today and never regret loving too much. <3