Having babies is no joke. You adapt, adjust and give up so many things. And even then, it’s not easy to get use to and sometimes you miss the life you had back in the day. I swear, these are normal feelings. You’re a normal woman for having these emotions. Motherhood is a rollercoaster of emotions. It’s totally normal to feel happy, sad, upset, joyful, love, hate, confusion, exhaustion, I don’t know what the heck I’m doing here, all in a five minute span.
Can we say #motherhood?
The transition from just being a married woman to having a baby is huge. There are a number of realities no one talks about and also things you don’t want to believe because heck, you’ll have it all together. Wrong.
And then the transition from baby number one to baby number two is a change that will rock both you and baby number one’s world.
So get ready for ten things that will change how you do life with baby number two.
- The cuddles are less
- The second time goes faster
- If you have two under two, breastfeeding will be stressful
- Again, if your oldest is still young there will be crazy amounts of jealousy
- The only real time to cuddle the new baby is during nap time or bedtime
- Everyday will feel like a rush trying to figure it all out
- There will be plenty of tears (more than the first time through)
- You will ask yourself more than 10 times a day what the heck am I doing?
- You’ll care less what people think about your mothering skills
- You will catch yourself multitasking to the max
I feel like the adjustment to baby two was easier in some ways and much harder in other ways. For instance breastfeeding the second time was a piece of cake. There were no tears, blisters, or bleeding. But managing mother life, household chores, wifely duties, social life, and shopping trips reached a whole new level of challenges I was unaware of.
Taking care of two little people 24/7 is a real job. Before it took an average of 10 minutes to get out of the door. Now I have to account for two diaper changes, snacks for the toddler, feeding the baby, both buckled in their car seats, don’t forget the buggy and baby carrier since the double stroller is a pain, and finally an hour later we’re on the road!
“It’s REAL Challenging!”
Gone are the days of hopping in the car real quick and driving down to the store all in five minutes. Now a five minute drive to the grocery store can take up to one hour.
Also your toddler will often wake baby so get used to a cranky, unrested baby, and a frustrated you.
And breastfeeding with a toddler climbing up your leg and a newborn losing the latch is beyond stressful. Trust me, you will want to give up multiple times. Don’t.
Somedays will feel like you discipline more, change diapers constantly, and eat an entire bar of chocolate because yes you can.
I wish I could say it gets easier but right now I’m in the funk of it all. I don’t sleep through the night (like what does that even mean and who does?).
Right now I feel like motherhood and life are constantly swallowing me and I can’t keep up with the household and barely myself.
Here’s a secret:
Forget about the mess and focus on you. I don’t give a heck if you have to turn YouTube or Netflix for your kids so you can have a moment to put your hair up in a sexy mom bun (those do exist!). You exist mama. I know these days are tough. You will feel overwhelmed and will also not give a crap about anything. This season of life is rough. Kids wake you up in the middle of the night because kids hate sleep. You stuff whatever you find in your face and hate all the critics. You do what you have to do because you’re a freaking mama warrior.
- You deal with little humans who are many times bipolar.
- You function with little to no sleep.
- You live with little people who sometimes really hate you.
- You have crazy big to-do lists and it makes you exhausted just thinking about it so now you need a nap but can’t because you’re an adult and the mom.
Stop now and breathe.
Take a deep breath. Have you had coffee or tea yet? Or have you showered? You know, that beautiful amazing warm feeling of water dripping down your head and sliding down your back and the grease and grim washes away. Oh and have you peed? You need to put yourself on the top of the list. The busyness and overwhelming nuttiness will catch up with you. Maybe not today, but eventually mama.
We all know this and I could go on. I have to tell myself this all the time too. TV helps with the kids and don’t feel guilty about it while you take care of you. How you handle you is mighty important and it’ll set the tone for the day.
Together we can change our freaking attitudes together.
Going from 1 to 2 kids is definitely a challenge. We just added number 3 to our mix a little less than a year ago. I have a 4 year old, 2 year old, and baby. All the things you mentioned were multiplied to the max! Thanks for sharing!
Ha, yes that does sound a tad more crazy lol. I like having them close for so many reasons but sometimes I ask myself, “what the heck am I doing?!!” 😉
Good reminders for moms trying to do it all (and it seems like we all get caught in that trap sometimes). When I had baby #2, I gave myself permission to increase #1’s screen time allowances for the first while, while I figured out breastfeeding and everything else. It was temporary, but it made a big difference in my ability to deal with all the changes in our family…and he’s no worse off! Do what you need to and what works for YOUR family. That’s what I say!
Absolutely! I have done that just a bit more for my son now. Sometimes I feel real bad about it but I honestly can’t get anything done. And when I don’t feel good about myself, well the whole day kind of ends in a blah note. It’s important to get that mama time, even if it’s just 5 minutes at a time.
Such important reminders. Especially to stop and take a breath. Pushing our reset button is so important!
YES! I so get it on all levels lol. Motherhood is no joke and every mom needs to know they are enough and are doing plenty! 🙂
I have to say, I did find that I felt like I got in a whole lot more cuddling with my third though as baby wearing was a MUST! haha!
Codi, good for you! I can finally say I’m reaching that point just a bit more (not as much though!). My two are close in age and my son still doesn’t understand why mama has to spend so much time with baby. We’re making baby steps! 🙂 I baby wear every single day for sure. I can’t live without it!