The roses. The chocolates. The teddy bear. The kisses, I love you, and hugs.
It’s that one day a year when the men go nuts and the women are wooed.
And the pressure to make it the most perfect Valentine yet weighs heavy on most couples. The day can go only one of two ways: absolutely blissful and romantic in every way OR downright sucky from the get-go.
What’s the BIG deal any ways?
So why the pressure? Why the intense emotions and feelings to make it the most important day of your love’s life? What about keeping the theme of Valentine’s all year round? Besides, wouldn’t it be way more special and romantic if the love and surprises were year round?
Stop! Smell the roses!!
I’ve been married for three years. Thanks to my husband’s career, I have spent each of those Valentine’s Day apart. Sucks? BIG TIME. But it wasn’t until I realized that it’s just a day that society goes absolutely nuts about. Because really, my husband and I can recreate Valentine’s Day whenever we want. And so we do. Reality is real y’all.
Kill the Expectations!
I can retell of the best Valentine’s Day and the worst. But really, there is always a mixture of good and bad days so why does Valentine’s Day matter that much more? I think it’s the expectations we create for ourselves. We want it to be absolutely perfect and when that day falls a bit short, a disaster, or more like an emotional catastrophe occurs.
Mommy Valentine’s Day Surprises…
So for Valentine’s this year, I’m going to share a few great and not so great Valentine’s memories! I have a few mommies on the blog today as well sharing their stories.
“My best Valentine memory goes back to my first Valentine with my husband (back then, my boyfriend!). We had been dating for three months and he drove six hours (in between midterms), to surprise me. He decorated my room and then surprised me with movie tickets and dinner. I also told him I loved him for the first time (after making him wait 3 months—call me old-fashioned).”
Caitlin from Better with Babies: “Well one Valentine’s Day kindergarten party will always be my most memorable, unfortunately for undesirable reasons. There had been a stomach bug going around school but I was confident my classroom wouldn’t be affected. Armed with Clorox and paper towels, I cleaned vigorously and took every sniffle or headache very seriously. The day of the party I woke up feeling a little off but I thought nothing of it. When I got to school and realized two kids had been called in sick, I began to worry.
We went about our day, ate delicious pink lollipops, crafted heart doilies, read festive books and graphed conversation hearts. The party was a hit! I sent the kids home filled with sugar, but also happiness! That night, I regretted not listening to my instincts, and my stomach. I was reminded of our perfect day when it all came up again in the middle of the night… literally! I rushed to the bathroom to get sick and I realized that I was a little “hung over” from all the partying … (in other words I had caught that nasty stomach bug, and three other kids had too, which I learned later that day). That was definitely a Valentine’s Day to remember.”
Jasmine from Love Life Laugh Motherhood: “My worst Valentine’s Day will hopefully never happen again. I was newly engaged, pregnant, and my husband spent the holiday time zones away in Russia. Skype is a wonderful thing for long-distant relationships, but with my hormones and loneliness, it just wasn’t cutting it. Even though he sent chocolates and flowers, I would have traded it all to just have him home during the most romantic holiday of the year.”
Kim from Always A New Day Blog: “Valentine’s Day use to mean flowers and hot dates with my man. Carefree and childless, we would go to dinner, watch what we want, and not share our chocolate with anyone! Fast forward to life with two kids, and while we do steal time for dates (even if they are at home), our day of love involves them a great deal. This year, I will have a game for my son and a Moana dress for my daughter – not to mention some conversation hearts and chocolate. Then we will make dinner and Valentine’s treats together. They are my true loves; my whole heart. What better way to show them all of that than on February 14th. That’s my favorite way to spend this day now that I am a mom.”
Lyndsey from Momma Fit Lyndsey: “I tried to cook heart shaped raviolis for my hubby. They tasted terrible so I’m pretty sure we ordered a pizza LOL!”
I love each of these stories and experiences from other moms. The greatest part of it all is that each experience wasn’t the greatest but they all look back and laugh about it now. And honestly, I think that’s what Valentine’s Day should reflect more of: lightheartedness and fun. Enough of the stress making and trying to create a picture perfect day or night. Enjoy your significant other and take the chaos and interruptions from little ones as they come. Someday it’ll just be you and your spouse again and you can have all the alone time you want.
This year my husband and I are on baby watch. He also is in school and will be studying for a very intense test and I’ll be hanging out with my toddler, hoping the contractions start picking up. But you know what? Our love reflects our lives now. Our love shows our blessings. And so I think that’s what Valentine’s Day should be more of: a reflection of your love, commitment, and lightheartedness with each other. After all, love is what matters–not the day or the pomp and circumstance and all the flash (not saying you can’t do that too, though!).
So how’re you spending your Valentine’s Day this year as a mom? Anything different, special, or new?
Loved reading all the other stories!
Kill the Expectations! – Yes…We have always had a low key Valentines.
Great stories here! When I was married to someone in the military, we only had on V-Day together so I know how it can suck. I agree that you can make your own special day any day you choose (and we all should, really). Share the love everyday! 🙂
Amen, Lisa! You have to do what you have to do and somehow make it work. Besides, Valentine’s Day can literally be any day of the year 😉
My husband and I were trying to have our date during the weekend, he fell asleep early on Friday, I knocked out early on Saturday with our son and Sunday we were just too tired in anticipate of work the next day. There was no chance we were going to try to go out tonight because of all the people so we just enjoyed each other’s company. I agree with you lol.
Oh my gosh, I can totally relate to this! I know exactly how this goes. I enjoy home dates more any ways, especially when you put into account the costs and time it takes to get out and then paying a sitter, etc. Parenting is real. LOL
Yes! I absolutely love this. Yesterday, instead of rushing out to the store with two kids in tow, I decided to let my oldest (4) make my husband a card. It was perfectly imperfect.
But these are the memories that you will have in your heart forever. I know it feels crazy chaotic now but I hear it only gets crazier as they get older 😉