When people told me “Enjoy your baby, it goes by fast!” I tried to ignore that thought and told myself, “Yeah, whatever that won’t be my case!” Well, we’re almost 10 months into this whole baby thing and I can’t even explain where those 10 months have gone. In most ways it feels like yesterday when I found out I was pregnant. Those first emotions and the overwhelming tears of excitement, fear, nervousness, and joy flooded me and now a year and a half later some days I feel like a mommy expert, but let’s just say most days that’s not the case. But gosh, I definitely believe the comment that it does go by fast. And when I mean fast I mean like I snapped my fingers and poof, here we are 10 months later with the happiest, most adorable, and chubbiest baby boy.

And then I begin to think that I expect my son to have it all down and be an expert with sleeping. Heck, I wake up a few times throughout the night just because and I’m 23. He’s not even 10 months and I have set this expectation for myself and for him to sleep through the night. Oh and that naptime schedule and routine should be down and working like clockwork. But to be completely honest, it’s NOT like that. A few months ago he would wake up often 5 times in one night. There were days when all I did was rock him to sleep. Fast forward a few months and he did a phase of sleeping 11 hours a night straight and nap all on his own. Now fast-forward a few weeks and we are back to waking up 1 to 2 times at night and naptime has become a bit more challenging. Mommy has to rock him and forget about getting him in the crib without waking up. Little man is now taking naps in mommy and daddy’s bed. And you know what? I’m okay with this.

It won’t last forever. I met a 10-week-old precious bundle of joy this morning at bible study and I found myself saying, “I miss that cuddly age!” But then I looked at my sweet boy and he needs his mommy. He longs for the middle of the night cuddles. It’s no wonder he wakes up in the middle of the night freaked out. He fell asleep in my arms, warm and cuddly and somehow woke up in a cold, dark crib. I would freak out too if I didn’t have a clue what happened within the past few hours.

Yes, I’m exhausted most days. Some nights I don’t get more than 4 hours of sleep but I wouldn’t trade it for anything because in a year from now I’ll look back and think how this was only a season of my life. And it to will go by so fast. Even though the nights are often draining the life out of me, the days with my son go by fast enough and I want to hold onto these precious nighttime feedings and these sweet cuddles, and the soft baby breath. He’ll grow up on his own soon enough. And he won’t need mommy. Ah- such a heartbreaking thought.

No doubt, some mornings I wake up with a foot in my face or a poopy diaper pointing right in my way. But I know I will look back and tell a young mom this too someday: “Enjoy your baby, it goes by fast!”

The Problem with My Son

Mamas, do you ever feel judged or almost to the point of being condemned? And when you really think about...